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Self care tools for dealing with anxiety, depression, loneliness, wanderlust, lack of motivation and more! Upcoming release of self care themed playing cards decks. 

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Blog

Self Care Solitaire blog featuring self care suggestions, clinical examples, product recommendations and playlists to help readers identify healthy routines and habits they can incorporate into their own lives

 

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Where to Start

Lauren

It's good so set lofty self care goals for ourselves, and have expectations that feel important. When it comes to New Year's resolutions, deciding to work on things like increasing self love, feeling happier, or living a calmer life are healthy aims. However, they are also so general that they may cause us to feel overwhelmed or unsure of where to begin. When clients come in with these types of goals, I find it important to help them break them down into smaller, measurable objectives. 

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The Lucky Ones

Lauren

Recently, many of my clients have been bringing up the topic of guilt in sessions. Occasionally, the feelings of guilt they describe are appropriate; when we have done something to hurt ourselves or someone else, it is normal and healthy to feel guilt or regret. This guilt is what keeps us from repeating the same harmful behavior. However, most of the time I notice that the feelings of guilt my clients' experience are related to things beyond their control. For example, many of my clients feel guilty about their various experiences of privilege. When we feel guilty about something that we cannot control, we tend to get stuck. 

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Shape Shifting

Lauren

Knowing who we are is so important to self care. How can we take care of ourselves if we don’t know what energizes us, what calms us, what excites us? But sometimes it’s hard to know who we are if “who we are” is in a state of flux. We are always changing. And maybe giving ourselves this permission to change, to experiment with our identities, can be self care in and of itself

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Farewell to Bad Habits

Lauren

Most of us have bad habits; we bite our nails, spend too much time scrolling through Facebook, we snack on junk food even when we're not hungry, or we may regularly drink too much or use drugs in excess. In moderation, these things are not necessarily unhealthy, but they become "bad" habits when we overuse them. 

It's important to remember that having "bad" habits does not make us bad. It makes us human

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Comfort Food

Lauren

In addition to lifestyle habits, which I discussed in last week's blog post, Ayurvedic wisdom about diet can also be useful in informing our self care routines. Talking about food can sometimes bring up uncomfortable or painful emotions for people, so I want to make it clear that this post will not demonize or judge any type of food as "bad". Healthy eating means eating a variety of foods that give you the nutrients you need to survive. It means sometimes overeating and sometimes not eating enough, but mostly eating an amount that feels comfortable to you. In terms of comfort, Ayurvedic wisdom tells us that, depending on your dosha, certain types of food are capable of providing more comfort than others. 

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Top Ten: Habits for Self Care

Lauren

To close out this month's series on self care Ton Ten lists, I have researched and assembled a list of the Top Ten Habits for Self Care. These are daily activities that are essential for not only surviving, but thriving. They go beyond the basics of what we need to live and touch on what we need to live well. Take a look at the list below and let me know what you think in the comments! 

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"Should I Stay or Should I Go?"

Lauren

Travel came up right away in my very first session with Raquel. In between stories chronicling her years long struggle with anxiety, she shared that she had always wanted to live on the West Coast, and dreamed of moving to Oregon someday. She connected part of her anxiety to a fear that this dream would never come true for her.

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Alone At Last

Lauren

Spending time alone feels easy for some of us, but for others it is a skill that doesn’t come naturally. Oftentimes this trait correlates with where an individual’s personality falls on the introversion/extroversion scale. However, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you may find that being intentional about how you spend your alone time enhances and enriches your experience of yourself.

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(Im)perfectionism

Lauren

I would say that 90% of the people that I see for therapy report feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed as their main reason for seeking treatment. Many times, these feelings develop because my clients have very high expectations for themselves, impossibly high in fact; they expect themselves to be perfect. Because none of us are perfect (and how boring would it be if we were?!) they never meet their goals for perfection, leaving them feeling like failures.

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The Greatest Love of All*

Lauren

As I’ve been reflecting on self love and relationships over this past month, I am reminded of a client I worked with last year. Bridget** was in her early 30s and had come to see me for therapy following a complicated breakup. She shared that a large part of her identity had been tied up in her girlfriend, and she felt confused about how to have a positive relationship with herself that was separate from a relationship with a significant other.

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